Album Review: Charli XCX's Crash
A Year Too Late
Note from The Editor, Jet Jameson: This article is not meant to serve as an “A Year Since,” review, or a “Post-Mortem,” on Charli XCX’s fifth studio album, and last with Atlantic Records, Crash. It is simply being published, a year too late. To be exact: 11 months and 7 days too late.
By: Raymond G. Myers
Charlotte is a fun name for a girl, isn’t it? It’s regal, proper, and aptly British. It gives many-a nickname. Char, Lottie, Carla, and Charlie. In French, Charlotte, or “Charlot,” means “petite.” But nothing about Charlotte Emma Aitchison, a.k.a Charli XCX’s, cultivated image reads as “petite.” In her most recent album, 2022’s Crash, she is a larger-than-life self-proclaimed “main pop-girlie,” rivaling the likes of Britney Spears (circa 2004) and Madonna (circa 1993.) If I’m defining “main pop-girlie,” correctly, that is.
Ms. XCX does not falter in creating a sort of morbid-pop fantasy for listeners to lose themselves in. Her album cover displays her, blood-covered and sleepy-eyed, leaning over the hood of a car, donning only heels and an itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny string bikini.
In supporting album art, she rocks a Barbarella-like-buffount and is never seen in a color besides black. She looks like the sci-fi warrior princess most schoolboys are terminally turned on, and terrified by.
Unlike the casual approach to her how i’m feeling now and the demureness of her feature-heavy pop 2, the young XCX does not shy away from her celebrity persona. Her fifth and final record with Atlantic Record plays into the stereotypes thrust upon young stars, both giving an “up-yours” to the label and allowing Charli to crown herself as a pop princess.
Well, I don’t, I mean–maybe stereotypes is not the right word. Caricature? Ideal? She sort of, you know, is doing this hyper-feminized, but still a boss-bitch sort of thing.
That doesn’t sound right when I say it, does it?
Well, my youngest, she’s bout 24 now, Holly, says Charli is “subverting the modern view of feminism by bimbo-fying herself, and it’s very girlie-pop.” And I can’t quite make sense of that.
To be completely honest, this may be above my head. Typically, my much younger and hipper colleague, Ibrah, does these reviews. She conducted a brilliant interview with Charli XCX’s contemporary, Caroline Polacheck, the likes of which is linked here. But this old geezer is more comfortable with the rock and folk beat.
My most highly anticipated release of 2022 was Bonnie Raitt’s Just Like That… I know nothing about what the kids are calling the “hyper-pop girlies.” But, to my chagrin, Ibrah is in Ibiza this week, “digitally cataloging Diplo’s daily routine via TikTok and Cameo” rendering her unavailable. She has a Journalism degree from Oxford and I have the responsibility of finding out for myself, who Charli XCX is.
Seems to me, throughout her career, she’s always played hopscotch between chart-topping pop and gritty, metallic “hyper-pop,” or “electro-pop,” or “Madchester new wave dance pop.”
You know, not to sound like an old fogey, but when I was first starting out my career, there were about five genres, in total. We didn’t feel this inane desire to label everything.
The second single of her album, New Shapes (ft. Christine and The Queens, and Caroline Polacheck) is a well-rounded 80’s pop song, filled out by a consistent bass and snare beat, and step-ladder synth chords.
The single failed to edge its way onto US or UK charts, despite the collaborative effort between the (what I’m being told are) “fem-bot icons.”
Beg For You (Ft. Rina Sawayama) experienced more commercial success than the former, though. Despite its controversial interpolation.
While many praised the song for livening up September’s “Cry for You,” and bringing the melody into the modern-pop age, The Guardian’s Alexis Petridis claims the interpolations to be “thuddingly obvious,” motifs that “undersell XCX’s well-established talents as a writer and performer of straightforward, low-concept hits.”
I simply don’t agree. I know it’s bad writing to negatively compare artists, however, unlike many interpolations we’ve seen as of late, like that of “I’m Good (Blue)” by David Guetta and Bebe Rexha, which repurposes Eiffel 65’s “A Decade in Blue (Da Ba Dee),” Charli’s use of “Cry for You,” adds to the message of her song, rather than being the entire concept. It is obvious, that yes, using the same melody created a sense of nostalgia. Doing so can make the tune catchier to the listener, but it isn’t the song’s sole purpose. She’s not trying to make a dance song for Tik Tok.
And sincerest apologies to Rexha and Guetta, I don’t mean to drag your names through the mud, but if I must listen to your acid spill of a song in my car radio one more time, I may Van Gogh my ears.
And though I think The Guardian’s pan of Crash is absolute horse shite, to be completely honest, the state of pop music seems banal.
The pop industry has been laid to rest on the shoulders of women like Charli XCX, and the rest seems to be white noise.
But really, what am I doing critiquing something I wouldn’t be able to comprehend if it weren’t for the handholding of my youngest child?
To know a good song is to know the smell of weed. You just know it. Sometimes, it’s indescribable. Like the smell that emanates from that same child’s bedroom when she’s home from college. And Crash is good. Indescribably good.
Especially for the last album of a grueling contract, XCX has been obliged to follow since she was 16.
I can understand the feeling, the last lap, the final pass. Is she phoning it in, proving a point, or learning a lesson?
Not to become too personal, but this will be my last article with Rolling Stone UK. It has been the honour of my life to write for this esteemed publisher, but I fear I’ve been doing this so long now, my hands are arthritic and I’ve lost just about 40% of my hearing. Obviously not ideal for a music critic. Jet, darling, please cut this shit to hell. I’m meandering, I know.
But if any of these reviewers had observed Charli’s career, especially in the last three albums, they’d know there was no way she’d go quietly in the night. And if they had any sense they’d know this album was a gorgeous ascendance for Miss. XCX into “main pop-girlie,” stardom.
And Jet, if this review is not up to par, as Charli would say:
Update: As of March, 25th 2022, Crash is the Number 1 Album in the UK. It is Number 7 in the US.
Update: As of May, 11th 2022, Charli is dating producer, George Daniel, of The 1975 fame. I can’t attest if he’s good for her. I met him once at The Brits, nice enough fellow but seemed a bit punkish. Brilliant producer. I hope he treats her well.
Update: As of May 19th, 2022, the youngest and I go see Charli at the Alexandra Palace in London. Amazing show, an amazing performance. I especially like her rendition of “Vroom, Vroom.” Electrifying song. I believe I probably have 50% hearing loss now.
Update: As of July 1st, 2022, Jet, please stop demanding me for this review, I want to put some finishing touches on it. Have you called Charli’s team? I’d love to set up an interview. You’ll pry this piece from my cold, dead hands! Just kidding. Probably stalling because I’m not ready to admit myself to retirement. Much love, kiddo.
Update: As of August 30th, 2022, Ok, Jet. I hear you. It’s been far too long, but you know I had to drop Holly for her senior year, and I just started listening to Charli, and I mean, an entire book could be written about that album. What if we made this a cover?
Update: As of August 31st, 2022, There already was a cover? Bah — it’s shit. Let me have a go at it.
Update: As of December 25th, 2022, Jet, maybe time I give up the ghost. This piece is 20 pages long, with no end in sight. What can I say? The woman has a biblical discography. Her vinyl’s been the most listened to in my house this last few months, knocking Bob Dylan out of his top spot. I think we have to trash this piece entirely. Would Ibrah want to write up a quickie?
Update: As of January 5th, 2023, Motivation renewed! In a far-fetched turn of events, Charli and I happened to be in the same hospital on the same day. I was getting some tests done, and she was getting her wisdom teeth taken out. While we were both loopy, her in a gurney, and me on a medical bed (having keeled over after they took my blood,) we got to talking! She would love to do another cover! Or at least that’s what she said in her daze. Or what I think she said.
Update: As of January 20th, 2023 “Welcome to My Island (George Daniel and Charli XCX Remix)” is brilliant. I’ve decided they’re a perfect pair. As Holly would say I “ship” them.
Update: As of February 11th, 2023 Charli was absolutely SNUBBED at The Brits! She was the real winner. I mean, really!
Update: As of February 13th, It’s time I retire. It’s time I send in this piece. Charli’s team reached out, and while she’s interested they don’t have time to squeeze in an interview in the foreseeable future. What a shame. With that, it’s time for me to resign to Rolling Stone’s word count and honour my retirement. Thank you for the ride of a lifetime. And Charli, I’ve “got you on repeat!”
In Memoriam: Raymond Germaine Myers. Beloved Father, Friend, and Fan. 1950–2023, he passed in an unfortunate car crash. Survived by his sons Mason and Malcolm, and daughter, Holly. The reader will be pleased to learn, the article in its entirety was sent to a certain celebrity’s team and a Charlotte Emma Aitchison performed a rendition of “Blowin in the Wind,” at the wake. He really did become one of Charli’s Angels.
